Steph and I "people-watched" far more than we watched any actual basketball... and I must say, it was much more interesting... Midway through the game, a young couple came down and claimed the seats two rows in front of us. Immediately there was a ripple amongst most of the men around us (Our -husbands excluded... and we're so proud of them!). The girl was very skinny in ultra-tight "skinny" jeans, with long dark hair, and an average-looking face. But what set her apart was her surgically-enhanced bustline that was bursting (thanks to a push-up bra) out of her shirt that had the top 5 buttons undone.
Now, I say the girl was "surgically-enhanced" for this reason - if God had given a girl that robust of a busom that defied gravity so absolutely, most girls would cover themselves out of sheer embarrassment. But when a gal PAYS for something, she will likely do everything she can to show off the assets and make sure people know she got her money's worth. This girl was deliberately showing off her womanly parts to the world and often stood up, leaned over, at one point, even started patting her own rearend (no kidding!), or adjusted herself to make sure that she drew stares. And stares, she did receive...
Men in a 10 yard radius were reduced to their most primitive selves - slobbering, leering, and turning their necks so far that we thought many of them would require a lengthy chiropractic session to straighten out their spines. Forget the dribbling on the court...! We had dribbling and drooling men all around us!! Here are some of the characters we noticed...
- "4 Sleazy Dudes" - Group of 4 guys right behind us - late 20's/early 30's, post-college guys but who became nearly incoherent except for oggling eyes and phrases like "like to get me some of that" and "did you check out her rack?!" When she started patting her own backend, one nearly dumped his beer on me, he was leaning forward so far!
- "Mid-Life-Crisis Man" who sat across the aisle and a row below her with his two buddies. His neck is definitely out of alignment for all of the craining he did. Plus, tons of obviously lewd gestures and tongue-waggling in her direction as he envisioned all the porno-type thoughts he could come up with and share with his cronies.
- "Clearly A Grandpa And A Pervert" - Guy well over 65 years old with his buddy sat in our row. He was up on his toes to look down her shirt more than once.
- "My Girlfriend Doesn't Have As Big A Set" Dude who sat with his girlfriend directly in front of "Boobalicious." He spent most of the game turned completely around pretending to talk to his date but eying the magnificent display the whole time. There were many "pretend" reaches to the floor behind him for his water bottle so he could get a closer..... look.
What's wrong with this picture....? Several things!
- The Girl has self-esteem issues, big time. She is thinking that her self-worth is derived by how men react to her, but isn't realizing that these men are only reacting on the most basic of levels... No one is thinking of her "as the girl I'd introduce to my parents" - she is reduced to the "skanky girl who might get me laid." Here is what God says: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. Or The Message version which is a bit more specific: There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
- This girl's behavior has now become a stumbling block to the men around her. It is quite possible that some of the leering guys struggle with addictions to pornography (my money's on "Mid-Life Crisis Guy"), and her lack-of-outfit just throws more images into their permanent "Mental Rolladex." God says in Romans 14:13 - Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. Obviously she is not responsible for everyone else's problems, but there are SO many poor messages being sent out with this attire... there doesn't seem to be anything positive about it!
- This doesn't mean "Girls: don't be cute." Beth Moore put it best when she said, "Ladies, you can be cute! You go out and buy the cutest outfit you can find... but COVER yourself!" You can be pretty, or beautiful, or flashy, or cute WITHOUT being skanky, or lewd, or tacky... or be nicknamed "Boobalicious!" Our friends with a teenage daughter have the "4 B's Rule" in their house. For their daughter, it's NO boobs, NO butts, NO belly, NO bra strap showing or she can't leave the house. This would seem like a NO-BRAINER... but a lot of today's fashions leave a tons of personal skin exposed and on display!
In man's defense, not ALL of the guys around were a drooling mess. The two men right in front of us (who could have had an excellent view) seemed to be quite UNcomfortable with the whole thing and were looking anywhere BUT at her... Our dear husbands actually seemed oblivious to it all as they were totally into the game (until we told them about it and they started watching the surrounding crowd). But the majority of the men around us did not represent their gender well! And I felt sorry for them.. and for their wives... or their daughters... or their girlfriends... or their mothers... all of the women in their lives who had just been disrespected by their behavior.
When I was a kid, my Mom used to tell me to "pretend she was sitting on our shoulders" when we were out and about... that whatever we did or said - to ask ourselves if Mom was watching... would we still be doing that particular thing... (My brother often looked at her and used his fingers to flick off the "imaginary Mom" off of his shoulder... but I digress...!)
While your Mom might not always be with you, there is a parent figure who IS always watching you... God sees your stumbles and falls... your good days AND your obnoxious ones. And while He loves us and forgives us, He can still feel disappointment in our choices. I screw up daily... by the hour, sometimes! ... but I one of the things I pray for is for God to help me be a better person/mother/wife/friend/Christian tomorrow than I was today. And in order to actually accomplish that, I have to make better choices.
How's your behavior lately...?
Are you representing your gender well?
Your family well?
Your Creator well?
Take care of you this week,